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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Funny Kids

It is true that kids really do the darnest things.. hehe.. please enjoy these stories and feel free to laugh..

On the way to driving her daughter to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up. Her daughter began playing with it, and she thought: be still my heart, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. - May I take your order?"

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

Some boy scouts from the big city were on a camping trip for the first time.The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightening bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up, now they're coming after us with flashlights!"

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's more beautiful than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest:
Better Be Safe Than . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Punch A 5th Grader.
It's Always Darkest Before . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Daylight Savings Time.
Strike While The . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bug Is Close.
Never Under Estimate The Power Of . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Termites.
You Can Lead A Horse To Water But . . . . . . . . . . . . . . How?
Don't Bite The Hand That . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Looks Dirty.
No News Is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Impossible.
A Miss Is As Good As A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mr.
You Can't Teach An Old Dog New . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Math.
If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll . . . . . . . . . . . . Stink in The Morning.
Love All, Trust . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Me
The Pen Is Mightier Than The . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pigs.
An Idle Mind Is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Best Way To Relax.
Where There's Smoke, There's. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pollution.
Happy The Bride Who . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gets All The Presents!
A Penny Saved Is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not Much.
Two's Company, Three's . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Musketeers.
Don't Put Off Tomorrow What . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You Put On To Go To Bed.
Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And. . . . . . You Have To Blow Your Nose.
Children Should Be Seen And Not . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Spanked Or Grounded.
If At First You Don't Succeed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Get New Batteries.
You Get Out Of Something What You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . See Pictured On The Box.
When The Blind Leadeth The Blind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Get Out Of The Way.

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